Chistes, chistes, chistes
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video gracioso, ya que sois tan antifib…
http://www.youtube.com/w/Retrospecter-2%3A-FIB-2005?v=8EW8hI_ldNU&search=retrospecter
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Jajajaaja que bueno el video
, yo aseguro que el churro se moja, pero no es una metáfora. 
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la realidad en blanco y negro…
Mu bonico. -
Jaaaaaaaaaajajajjaajjaajjaa que bueno lo del retrospecter, sobre todo cuando el pavo suelta, bueno val pero las patadas sobran juaaaaassssssss
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muy bueno…
los dos de "la hora chanante" estaban en la zona vip del año pasado en el FIB, que lo sepáis
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Entrevista de trabajo
–--------------------"Bueno, su currículo es sorprendente. Aquí pone que usted habla inglés"
-"Si, claro, fui a un colegio bilingüe..."
-"Y también domina el francés"
-"Si, es que mi madre es francesa..."
-"Y habla perfectamente alemán"
-"Si, es que mi padre nació en Munich..."
-"Y también conoce el italiano..."
-"Bueno, es que tuve una novia que vivía en Roma..."
-"Y también el portugués"
-"Bueno, es que en mi anterior trabajo me destinaron a Lisboa"
-"Muy bien, muy bien, queda usted contratado. Sólo una curiosidad:
conociendo tantas lenguas diferentes... ¿Usted en qué piensa?"-"¿Yo? En follar, como todo el mundo"
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El humor sube y baja en el foro. Es algo preocupante.
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@poppie:3qk6ocjc:
muy bueno…
los dos de "la hora chanante" estaban en la zona vip del año pasado en el FIB, que lo sepáis
pues yo no los vi
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Para mi este es el mejor Retrospecters (como se diga) de todos
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…en el siguiente enlace hay un montón de chistes de l´Eugeni para escuchar
..el saben aquell que diu…
~ Please, ignore the above post. It was written only to invoke pity and/or sympathy and/or laughs ~
Does it bother you that the picture doesn't show?~
... Music Is My Everything -
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She
was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but
knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand.Two men applied for the job. One was kinda sissy and gay and the other a drunk. She
thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put
in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the
two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand,
"You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
However one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock, and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty and upon
entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace
with a glass of wine waiting for him. She quietly called him over to
her."Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Nervously, he did as she
directed. “Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it,
constantly watching her eyes in the firelight. "Now take off my bra."
With trembling hands he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Now, she said, "take off my panties."By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said:
"If you ever wear my clothes into town
again, you're fired!!!"~ Please, ignore the above post. It was written only to invoke pity and/or sympathy and/or laughs ~
Does it bother you that the picture doesn't show?~
... Music Is My Everything -
Enanitos vs Papa de Roma (malo con ganas la verdad)
Los siete enanitos están de viaje por Europa, y han llegado a Roma.
Ya que andan por ahí, piden audiencia para hablar con el Papa y por supuesto se la conceden, porque claro…son los famosos siete enanitos.
Estos ingresan a la sala de audiencia, encabezados por Gruñón.
El Papa los saludas: "Queridos hermanos, ¿Queréis preguntarme algo? ¿Hay algo que os inquiete?".
Gruñón se adelanta:"Disculpe santidad, queríamos saber si en Roma hay monjas enanas".
El Papa responde sorprendido:"Pueees...no, en Roma no hay monjas enanas".
Se oyen algunas risitas y murmullos entre los enanitos.
Gruñón mira hacia atrás molesto, y todos callan.
Vuelve a preguntar:"Y en Europa... ¿No hay monjas enanas?".
El Papa responde nuevamente, con santa paciencia:"No, querido hijo, que yo sepa, en toda Europa no hay monjas enanas".
Ahora todos los enanitos se ríen, mientras que Gruñón se va poniendo
colorado:
¿Y en el mundo?, ¡En todo el mundo! ¿No hay monjas enanas?".
"No, no querido hijo, seguro que en todo el mundo, no hay monjas enanas".
Los enanitos se cagan de la risa... saltan... se abalanzan uno sobre otro... se toman de las manos, y todos cantan....
"Gruñón se folló un pingüino...
"Gruñón se folló un pingüino...
"Gruñón se folló un pingüino...
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- ¿Por qué en las mezquitas no hay neveras?
- Porque se quedarían pegados los imanes.
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PRUEBAS DE QUE LA RAZA HUMANA SE DIRIGE INEXORABLEMENTE HACIA LA
ESTUPIDEZ
Aquí van algunas instrucciones auténticas que aparecen en las
etiquetas de diversos productos de consumo:En una caja de jabón Dove,
INDICACIONES: UTILIZAR COMO JABÓN NORMAL.
(¿Como se usan los jabones… NO normales...?)
En algunas comidas congeladas Findus:
SUGERENCIA PARA SERVIR: DESCONGELAR PRIMERO.
(Pero sólo es una sugerencia...)
En el postre Tiramisú marca Savory (impreso en la parte de abajo de
la caja):NO DAR LA VUELTA AL ENVASE.
(Ooooooh, demasiado tarde! Este me encanta...)
En un paquete de una plancha Rowenta:
NO PLANCHAR LA ROPA SOBRE EL CUERPO.
(Sin
comentarios)En un jarabe contra la tos para niños:
NO CONDUZCA AUTOMÓVILES NI MANEJE MAQUINARIA PESADA DESPUÉS DE USAR
ESTE MEDICAMENTO.(Se evitarían un montón de accidentes laborales si alejáramos a
estospeligrosos energúmenos...)
En un cuchillo de cocina coreano:
IMPORTANTE: MANTENER FUERA DEL ALCANCE DE LOS NIÑOS Y LAS
MASCOTAS.
(Pero qué mascotas tienen los coreanos!)
En una tira de luces de Navidad fabricadas en China:
SÓLO PARA USAR EN EL INTERIOR O EN EL EXTERIOR
(Ojo, única y exclusivamente...)
En un paquete de frutas secas de American Airlines:
INSTRUCCIONES: ABRIR EL PAQUETE, COMER LAS FRUTAS SECAS.
(Uff, gracias!)
En una sierra eléctrica
sueca:NO INTENTE DETENER LA SIERRA CON LAS MANOS O LAS PIERNAS.
(No se me habría ocurrido hacerlo!!!)
En la caja de un televisor Wauta TV340:
ANTES DE MIRAR UN PROGRAMA ENCIENDA EL TELEVISOR.
(Error...........primero debe enchufarse)
En el manual de un teclado RAZOR Keyboard XP:
SI SU TECLADO NO FUNCIONA, ESCRÍBANOS UN E-MAIL A: TECH@RAZOR.COM
(Como mierda les ESCRIBO un email si no funciona el teclado!!!)
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¿Cómo se ríe un ojo?
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Ojojojojojo
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Divertidísimo el de Gruñón y el pingüino.
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@pumpkin:3t2re4tt:
@alexkidd:3t2re4tt:
choque de culturas jajajaja
Jur jur!! Japón es lo máximo. This is a pen.
..haha! si…és muy bueno
..."chino" para ingleses :
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That's not right ..................... Sum Ting Wong
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Are you harboring a fugitive....... Hu Yu Hai Ding
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See me ASAP........................ ..Kum Hia Nao
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Stupid Man ........................... Dum Fuk
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Small Horse ...................... ... Tai Ni Po Ni
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Did you go to the beach?........... Wai Yu So Tan
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I bumped into a coffee table.......Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8 ) I think you need a face lift........ Chin Tu Fat
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It's very dark in here ............. Wao So Dim
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I thought you were on a diet....Wai Yu Mun Ching
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This is a tow away zone ..........No Pah King
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Our meeting is tomorrow ........ Wai Yu Kum Nao
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Staying out of sight ............. Lei Ying Lo
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He's cleaning his automobile ...Wa Shing Ka
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Your body odor is offensive ... Yu Stin Ki Pu
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Great ............................... Fa Kin Su Pah
...ah! Yo tengo la versíón en inglés del de las instrucciones...
(El del tiramisú y el de los cacauetes lo pude comprobar yo misma con mis ojos
....el del tiramisú però ya lo quitaron 
)On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.On a toboggan:
Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.In a kettle instruction manual:
The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.On a can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
Do not wash.On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.On a Frisbee:
Warning: may contain small parts.In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.Directions for mosquito repellant:
Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.On a washing machine inn a launderette:
No small children.On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.On a push along lawn mower:
Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.On a mattress:
Do not attempt to swallow.
...y perdón por este que és en català :
**
Per què al camp nou hi corre tanta cocaina?
-Perquè Joan La Porta.**~ Please, ignore the above post. It was written only to invoke pity and/or sympathy and/or laughs ~
Does it bother you that the picture doesn't show?~
... Music Is My Everything -
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